


Danganronpa crackfics and chatfics

by My_Veins_Are_Caffienated



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Fluff, I'm Sorry, M/M, Multi, Randomness, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-01-15 13:56:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18500395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Veins_Are_Caffienated/pseuds/My_Veins_Are_Caffienated
Summary: The danganronpa fucks are crazy yo





	1. Togami x Soda

One day rIchbOI™ needed to get laid because while he was a pretty and rich boi his personality is trash.  
So guess what he orders a stripper

And that hooker is Soda

When they met up in the Togami suite it's awkward

"dO yOU wAnnA rIdE?" Sodas voice cracked as he began to unzip his green jumpsuit.  
"Stop no stop please Jesus Christ stop Why did I do this?!? PUT YOUR DICK BACK IN YOUR PANTS PLEASE GOD ILL STILL PAY YOU! DOUBLE!"  
Togami yelled uncomfortably

After Soda was kicked out with 15 times his pay, they both knew a mistake was made.

And thus they went to unlist help in getting each other.

They see eachother at school a week later

"oh hey man H-how are you?" Soda nervously stuttered  
"Did you fucking follow me??!? Are you stalking me?!? Please leave me alone" Togami uncomfortably whispered

Soda ran away to his classroom and saw the ultimate ga- lucky boi

"Hey man aren't you gay or something. I need help" soda inquired desperately.

"Like you'd ever unlist help from trash like m-" Nagito rambled

"Can it Ultimate gay. I just need help"

"Right you love Fuyuhiko right?"

"WHAT NO WRONG PRETTY RICH BOI"

"Who then?"

"It-it doesn't matter just help"

"Surely the person you love must be full of hope! The best way to prove to them they need you is to become their stepping stone!"

"R-right"

Meanwhile

"Naegi you sometimes talk to our upperclassmen correct" Togami questioned

"Yes wh-" Egg responded

"Great how do I get closer to one"

"What do you mean Togami?"

"I MEAN IM RICH AND GAY FOR ONE OF THEM AND YOURE GONNA HELP ME"

"..."

"We're friends aren't we egg "

"..."

"Naegi please"

"...."

"RIGHT PEASANT YOU'RE USELESS"

"..."

Togami pouts

"Well I think you should be nic-"

"Give me real advice you uncultur- Oh. How does one do that?"

"Hold open doors. Smile. Don't call people uncultured, peasants or commoners. That's where I'd begin if I were you"

"Okay thanks egg"

The next day

Togami saw Soda running in late and opened the door for him.

"T-thank dude" Soda stuttered heavily breathing.

Togami takes a deep breath trying to contain his lust for the sweaty mechanic. "It's not problem"

They begin a little chitty chat chat as they strolled to their classes.

Togami didn't insult Soda once and Soda was well soda and panicked.

Earlier that morning Nagito drinking some sprite cranberry walked into Mikan and Ibuki and spilt the drink everywhere on the floor. The three had gone off to get some mops or something I don't know I can't clean for shit.

Soda saw the big puddle of cranberry sprite and remembering Nagito advice to be a " stepping stone" jumped on the puddle face down .

Togami was very confused and stood there for a minute.

He sighed and walked over Soda and then tapped him.

"W-would, would you like help? Uh getting up" He was bright red

"uh sure...Let me just"  
Soda rolls over and raises his hand.  
He's covered in the sprite cranberry.

Togami pulls him up and looks at him.  
"Should we uh get you to a nurse or something to like change"

"Probably"

And they walked passed their classrooms to go to the nurse.

They bond blah blah blah

At the nurses office

"Well here's goodbye" Soda frowned

"Uh yeah goodbye"

They hug

"Uh now you're sticky"

"Well it seems I am"

They stare into eachothers eyes

"Dude can I-"

"May I-"

"SURE" They say in unison and Togami cups Sodas face and kiissss.

The nurse catches Togami pushing Soda against the wall giving him a hickey.

Bonus scene

Mikan, Nagito and Ibuki stroll back

"WHERE'S THE CRANBERRY SPRITE GONE"

"W-what?!? H-how?!"

"Ladies stay cal-"

"IBUKI THINKS A GHOST DID IT. IBUKI NEEDS TO HUG A CUTIE BECAUSE IBUKIS SCARED"

Ibuki jumps on Mikan.

"Ibuki waIT"

They fall over.

Now it just looks like Nagito a third wheel.

Poor Nagito


	2. Ibuki x Mikan chatfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keysmashes

This is their story over texting  
Be prepared for keysmashes up the wazzu

Ibuki, just bored: hey tsumiki bjjghghggjggdgggcgcgg

Mikans, dropping her phone for the 926291027373 time: hey sjsbahaiwtsgshsjznnsnsjsjaja

Ibuki, in love because Mikan types like her: shjskausgwghsusvs ily u cutie SJJAKALAKALAKAKA-

Mikan, embrassed drops her phone: haahaklalah akajjkaala ajq ILOVEyousnalalSjsjkala

Ibuki, extra in love: IM XOMING TO GIBE YOU A CULDDEE SKAKAJLAWOHEJWNSOWJSBE

Mikan, turning bright red yeeting her phone at Nagito: SKKALAJSHWIWHWKWIISOQIWNXNX❤️❤️❤️❤️

Ibuki, racing there: OMW LOVE YOU SKSMALAK

Nagito with Mikans phone yeeting it back: WJALAIQU NSBSNAKAI

Ibuki at Mikans cottage: IM HERE FOR MY DCUSDLE JSKAIAIWJW

Mikan, dying: skkskssjjs paejsm nts SKS

~they cuddle akakak~

Next day

Ibuki, running around: HEY TSUMIKI WHERE ARE YOY IM BORES AKALALA

Mikan, in love because someone likes her: on the beach Sosjajalawh WakakH ajabsksT

Ibuki, on her way: SKSJKSSJUAJAAIM COMING

Mikan, about to throw her phone in the ocean: OKAY LOVE YOU SKAKS

Ibuki: <3<3<3

Mikan, dying: Msjshshsksy ^0

(She tried guys she tried)

Ibuki, in a tree: TSUMIKI HELP IM IN TREE GELP SKSKSKAK

Mikan, panicked: WHIXH TREWW SKSKS

Ibuki: A tall one skssmksksksam

Mikan, running about: IBUKI MAKE SOME NOISE SKSKSJAJJSJ

Ibuki: I AM SKSKSK

Mikan, getting all the gals plus Soda and Nagito to join her party to look for her: IBUKI WHERE ARE YOU SJAKAKSBSHUWIW

Ibuki: Ibuki already told you Ibukis in a tree

Mikan, thinking Ibuki hates her: I KNOW IM SORRY SOSJAJALAWHWHAT QHS

Ibuki: IBUKI SEES YOU AND YOUR SQUAD FAM KSJSJS

Mikan, relieved: HOW FAR ARE WE  
FROM YOU SMSMS

Ibuki, calculating: 3 TREES NORTH  
SJAKAL

Mikan, fucking relieved: we see you sjsjskkw

~A week later~

Ibuki, hanging out with Soda: Hey Mikan I'm bored and sodas no funskaka

Mikan: You can come to my cottage if you want ajalamabna

Ibuki: YAYYYYYY SKAKS

Mikan, fucking petrified: sksksissksks a

Ibuki, racing there: nEEnOORR SKSKAKA

Mikan, preparing her room: ksjsjsbsi

Ibuki: IBUKIS HERE LET ME IN SKSKSK

Mikan, scared at the knocking: Okay okay I hear you skalaowbwb

~A month later~

Ibuki, practicing in titty typhoon: MIKAN IBUKI MISSES YOU CONW JERW ZInala

Mikan, used to Ibukis oddly needy nature (me too) with Nagito: Im with Nagito <3 skksks

Ibuki, jealous: LEAVE HIM AND COME TO ME SKSK

Ibuki: IM SORRU MIKAN I MISS YOU YOU VAN BRING ULTIMATE GAY KSJSK

Mikan:....I-Ibuki we've been dating for a month and-and you saw me an hour a go and screamed I love you but I need to fix this song and left me skaka

Ibuki:DOES IBUKI NEED A REASON YO MISS A CUTIE??!?!! AN HOUR AWAY FROK MY LOVE IS TOO HARD SISJS

Nagito, typing for Mikan who's dying from the love: we'll be right there

Ibuki: who the heck are you skksks

Nagito still typing: Nagito how did you know it was Mikan and Mikan said language

Ibuki: SKSKKA BECAUSE MY CUTIE USES KEYSMAHSES

Ibuki: FINE WHOMST THE HECK

Mikan, recovering: Better sjajaoiw

Ibuki: ILY <3 <3

Mikan, dying: I love you too

~1 year later~

Ibuki, lost in a forest: Babe I'm lost in a forest

Mikan: F

Mikan: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT SKSSKS

Mikan: Where's Hajime, Soda, Fuyuhiko and Peko?

Ibuki: Ibuki thinks Fuyuhiko and Peko are making out and Hajime and Soda are somewhere.help

Mikan: Skshshaia what do you see?

Ibuki, climbing a tree: Treez wissjsj

Mikan: I-

Ibuki: IBUKI CLIMBED TREE

Mikan: W-WHAT WHY

Ibuki: To get a better look?

Mikan, sighing: Now what do you see?

Ibuki: TEREEA

Ibuki: Wait I SEEE PINK SODA SjSJAJJA

Mikan: Can you get out of the tree? Sjaka

Ibuki: no

Mikan: IM CALLING HAJIME

Ibuki: IBUKI WOULD BUT IBUKI HAS NO CREDIT

Mikan: He's coming start screaming

Ibuki: That's what I do best

Mikan: I thought the thing you do best was sing

Ibuki, getting down: skakakakqkqoa Maybe

~5 years later~

Chiaki: Do you Mikan take Ibuki as your bride?

Mikan: Sijsbwnaaoahvw

Chiaki: And Do you Ibuki take I Mikan as your bride?

Ibuki: EBAIAIWBWKOANS

Crowd: IDGEVWIWNWNWI YES

Chiaki: What is wrong with y'all


	3. Korekiyo x Rantaro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> storms

5 times Rantaro was scared by heavy thunderstorms and Kork tried to help.

#1

Rantaro, almost screaming  
Kork using folklore to calm him: "Zeus is angry he's trying to smite someone"  
Rantaro, grinning while panicking: "That doesn't help you asshole"

#2

Kork trying again: "I mean Zeus is trying to help the earth. Someone angered them by sinning."

Rantaro panicking: "They're not homophobic right?!?"

Kork, confused: "No they had plenty of homoerotic encounters and they were accepting. Why?"

Rantaro staring at him: "Kiyo we've been dating for 3 years"

#3

Rantaro shaking: "Tell me a story"  
Kork: "Have I ever told you the story of Medusa?"  
Rantaro, clearly frustrated: "Yes 82627191929 times . I know it's your favourite babe"

#4

Rantaro screaming at one of the lightning strikes  
Kork muttering: "(some dead language)"  
Rantaro fucking terrified: "babe don't summon a demon old"  
Kork: "I was muttering a protection incantation"  
Rantaro, pecking his lips: "My hero"

#5

Kork: "God is dead"  
Rantaro: *about to shit his pants*  
Kork: "The storm will end soon and his body shall fall to Earth"  
Rantaro: :O

 

After storm

Rantaro: "You suck at calming me"  
Kork: "But do I suck at distracting you?"  
Rantaro: "You sly bastard come here" *yeets mask down and kIss*


	4. Chihiro X Miu X Kazuichi

They all help eachother with confidence.

When they met Miu's masochistic tendencies scared poor Chihiro so Miu tries to not have those............  
......outbursts.

They're the best tech team ever and they love trying new equipment.

Miu and Kaz have to go to the gym 4/5 times a week because of Chihiro.  
(They love his little smile as he bench-presses double what they did)

Chihiro became buff boy.

Once when some creep hit on Miu Chihiro almost beat the shit out of him.

All three get very embarrassed showing intimacy. When they first cuddled Miu cried.

They bathe Kaz frequently.

(Miu: "Get in the fuckin tub Kaz"  
Soda: "N-no"  
Chihiro: "Please"  
Miu looks at Chihiro  
A hose appears  
Soda: "G-guys"  
Miu starts spraying him  
Miu: "In the tub"  
Chihiro: *gets another hose*

Both of them force him in the tub and turn on the shower.

Chihiro starts to pour shower gel and shampoo on him

Kaz: "ITS IN MY EYES AAAAH")

I have no more ideas I'm sorry


	5. Ibuki x Mikan. Ibuki is annoying

Ibuki annoying Mikan and everyone

#1

Cat: *passes by Ibuki and Mikan*

Ibuki: *grins at Mikan*

Mikan: "Ibuki don't please"

Ibuki: *steps closer to the cat while grinning*

Mikan: "Ibuki please you're allergic"

Ibuki: *Pets the cat*

Mikan, almost crying: "Ibuki please don't"

Ibuki: *starts to rub her face in the cats stomach*

Mikan, in tears: "e-e-every, everytime"

Ibuki: *lifts her head up from motorboating the cat* "Ibuki can't breathe"

Mikan: "UWAAH WE HAVE TO GO HOME NOW"

Ibuki, still grinning as she locks hands with Mikan: "Ibuki thinks it's worth it!!!!"

Mikan, crying: "one day it won't be"

#2

Mikan:"Let's go to T-t-t-"

Everyone: "...."

Mikan: "T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t" a few minutes later "T-tit-tit" ten minutes later "T-t-tit-titt-"

Ibuki: "TITTY TYPHOON"

Mikan: "UWAH" *dies*

Chiaki: "Well um Let's go to music venue then"

#3

Mikan, peacefully sleeping.

Ibuki, outside of Mikans cottage: *grins*

Ibuki: *breaks the door*

Mikan, screaming: "UWAH WHO'S THERE WHAT DO YOU WANT"

Ibuki: "IBUKI WANTS CUDDLES"

Mikan: "Oh it's you Ibuki. C-couldn't you have just knocked?"

Ibuki, frowning: "Ibuki forgot about knocking. Sorry Mikan" *does the sprite with the finger's touching and the nervous face yknow*

Mikan, used to this bollocks: "O-o-oh Get in"

Ibuki: "YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIII"

Teruteru, in the kitchen: "You'd think Mikan said yes to some good time-" *grinning*

Nagito: *hits him*

Hajime: *facepalms*

Chiaki: "Don't speak about our classmates like that" *sweet smile*

Nagito: "Back to our game right guys"

#4

Mikan: "Teruteru if you don't shut up I'm going to say the f word"

Everybody: 👀

Teruteru: "I-"

Mikan: "F-f-f-f" *few minutes later * "F-f-f-fu-fu"

Everybody: 👀👀👀👀👀

Mikan: "Fu-fu-fu-"

Loud noise

Ibuki: "FUCK" *holding her foot*

Mikan: "IBUKI" *runs over*

Everybody: "DAMMIT IBUKI"


	6. Rantaro X Korekiyo X Kirumi

**The adventures of Amammy , Kirumum and** **Koredad**

**_#1_ **

**Rantaro jumping up and down: "WE SHOULD GO ON HOLIDAY"**

**Kork** **and** **Kirumi** **look at eachother.**

**Kirumi: "The last time you went on holiday you lost all your sisters"**

**Kork** **: "And you have 12"**

**Rantaro: "Don't worry guys I've matured you won't lose me!"**

**Kork** **: "mhm darling"**

**Kirumi: "sure dearest"**

_**(What sassy goths)** _

**_#2_ **

**Kork** **: *muttering Latin***

**Rantaro: "Don't make God smite us please"**

**Korekiyo** **: "We'll see"**

**Kirumi: *hits him***

**Kork** **: "Ow"**

**Rantaro: "Looks like God is a woman"**

**_#3_ **

**Kork** **, sitting down on the sofa inbetween** **Kirumi** **and Rantaro**

**Kork** **: "Illegal heathers time!"**

**Kirumi: "Can we just watch something normal for once?"**

**Kork** **: "** **mmmusical** **"**

**Rantaro: "** **RENT"**

**_#4_ **

**Kirumi: *hits Rantaro* "Stop trying to watch Rent" *hits kork* "Stop trying to watch Illegal heathers"**

**_#5_ **

**Rantaro: "** **DOLLFACE** **CAN YOU COME HERE"**

**Kirumi** **, yeeting herself down the stairs: "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT NAME".**

**Kork** **, popping out of nowhere: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"**

**Kirumi** **, glaring at Rantaro: "** **I-** **wow"**

**She looks at the poorly painted banner.**

**"HAPPY BORTH DAY"**

**Kirumi** **: "Rantaro, honey did you do that"**

**Rantaro: "Yeah babe how did you** **k-** **"**

**Kirumi** **, chuckling: "Because it's so terrible looking"**

**Rantaro: :O**

**Kork** **, dying of laughter: "YOU GOT HIM GOOD DEAREST"**

**Kirumi** **, pecks Rantaro lips: "Oh** **shush"**

**_#6_ **

**Kork** **, sitting in a chair: "it's the bear necessities" *humming***

**Rantaro and** **Kirumi** **: "We didn't know you could sing"**

**Kork** **, screaming: "** **AAAH** **" *falls out of chair***

**Rantaro and** **Kirumi** **: *chuckling***

**Rantaro: *helping him up* "Now now Goth boy we don't lay on the ground"**

**Kork** **: *ancient Greek muttering***

**Kirumi** **: *hits him* "None of that**

**_#5_ **

**Kork: "Everyone expects Kirumi to love Classical musical but she's really just an Eddie she ran fan"**

**Cuts to Kirumi dancing to The A team while Rantaro laughs while clapping.**

_**#6** _

**Kokichi: "Mum, dad and aMammy"**

**Kork: "No"**

**Rantaro: "What did you just call me-"**

**Kirumi, sighing: "Go on"**

**Kokichi: "I just wanna say uwu my gender is ratgender and please use 🐀/🐀's/🐀self uwu"**

**Rantaro: "Did you just say emojis out-"**

**Kork, pulling out a cane: "NO" *hits him***

**Kokichi: "oW** **"**

**Kirumi: *hands Rantaro and herself a cane***

**All three of them: "No" "No" *hitting him repeatedly***

**Kokichi, later on Tumblr: "GUYS UWAAAH MY PARENTS WON'T EXCEPT ME FOR BEING RATGENDER"**

_**#7** _

**Rantaro, entering the av room: "Hello dork 1 and 2"**

**Kork** **: *inhale* "Why do you call us such an....... insulting nicknames?"**

**Rantaro: "Aw bae I'm just teasing"**

**Kirumi** **: "Shush you two" *starts titanic***


	7. Gothajime x Nagito

Goth hafime: *sucking Nagitos dick*

Nagito: "Imma imma im gonna goof hngh"

Gothajime: *cromch*

Nagito: *SCREAMING*

Gothajime: "lOvE thE crOmcH"


	8. Yo Check this book out on wattpad

So I can't post pictures on Ao3 but I have gReaT GrEaT aRT On My Wattpad

[same name and shiz]

 

<https://www.wattpad.com/story/180971252-danganronpa-crack-ships-and-chatfics>


	9. Instagram names

Monokuma -> desbear_bear

Usami -> love.life.like.me

Monomi -> little_wimp

Monosuke -> hey.im.valking.here

Monokid -> raging.boner

Monodam -> beep.boop.beep

Monotaro -> jabearni

Monophanie -> i.love.daddys.love

**Danganronpa trigger happy havoc**

Makoto Naegi -> eggboi

Sayaka Maizono -> sayakamaizonoofficial

Leon Kuwata -> musicbro

Kyoko Kirigiri -> lilacgenius (egg chose it)

Byakuya Togami -> imrichandurnot

Hifumi Yamada -> the_fanfic_creator

Mondo Owada ->madladbiker

Toko Fukawa -> ugly_but_smart

Genocide Jill -> scissorsarecute

Celestia Ludenberg -> queenofliars

Aoi Asahina -> doughnutqueen24

Kiyotaka Ishimaru -> ultimate.moral.compass

Sakura Ogami -> imnotanogre

Yasuhiro Hagakure -> 420crystals

Junko Enoshima -> the_junko_enoshima

Chihiro Fujisake -> 01binary_genius01

Mukuro Ikusaba -> souljagirl 

**Ultra despair girls another episode**

Komaru Naegi -> ilovemygfsbooks

Kurokuma -> moneybagspls

Shirokuma -> imacarebear

Haji Towa -> towacompanysson

Jataro Kemuri -> artymaskboi

Masaru Daimon -> stronk_leader

Nagisa Shingetsu -> my_friends_dragged_me_here

Kotoko Utsugi -> heroic_actress

Monaca Towa -> picklemage

Yuta Asahina -> track.lad

Hiroko Hagakure -> i.traded.the.thug.life.for.my.boy

Taichi Fujisaki -> 14 proud_dad03

**Super Danganronpa 2**

Hajime Hinata -> oranges.are.my.life

Nagito Komaeda -> luckismyonlyfriend

Gundham Tanaka-> overlord_of_ice

Kazuichi Soda -> 69mechanic69

Twogami -> youdontknowme

Teruteru Hanamura -> kiss_the_chef

Nekomaru Nidai -> stronk_man   
(Ibuki chose it)

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu -> baby_bowser

Akane Owari -> fast_food

Chiaki Nanami -> thebestgamer

Sonia Nevermind -> the.dark.queen

Hiyoko Saionji -> thedancingqueen

Mahiru Koizumi -> snapshot_goddess

Mikan Tsumiki -> ultimate_cute_nurse  
(Ibuki chose it)

Ibuki Mioda -> the.ibuki.mioda

Peko Pekoyama -> sword_girlfriend  
(Ibuki also chose it)

**New danganronpa** **v3**

Korekiyo Shinguuji -> anthropology_man.seesaw

Angie Yonaga -> atuas_prophet

Kirumi Toujou -> mum  
(Kirumi tries to change it but Kokichi is like nonono)

Kokichi Ouma -> the.dictaker

Tsumugi Shirogane -> cosplayismylife

Kiibo -> k1_b0

Tenko Chabashira -> i_love_women

Kaede Akamatsu -> kaede_akamatsu_official

Kaito Momota -> luminaryofthestars  
(Kokichi keeps hacking his account and changing it to luminaryoftheearthworms)

Maki Harukawa -> harumaki  
(Kaitos doing)

Shuichi Saihara -> imcryinghelp

Ryoma Hoshi ->  ilovecatsandtennis

Rantaro Amami -> survival_of_the_nonplayboys

Himiko Yumeno -> imm_maaaaagic

Gonta Gokuhara -> bugs_are_my_friends

Miu Iruma -> 420titty_inventor69


	10. Kork x Rant x Kirumi

Headcanons

Rantaro calls Kirumi: Dork 1, Babe, Dollface (okay once and then Kirumi almost beat the shit outta that boy), Goth gf

Rantaro calls Korekiyo: Dork 2, Bae, Goth boy

Korekiyo calls Rantaro: Darling,

Korekiyo calls Kirumi: Dearest,

Kirumi calls Korekiyo: Love

Kirumi calls Rantaro: Hun, Honey

Kork forces his lovers to watch Illegal heather's with them.

Rantaro forces his SOs to watch Rent with him.

Kirumi is always amused at how childish they become over it

When Kork and Rantaro found out that Kirumi loves Ed Sheeran they took her to 7 concerts despite her embarassment.

Kork, Rantaro and Kirumi are like parents to their class.  
  


_** I can't think of anymore I'm  ** _ _** sooorry ** _


End file.
